4 and 1/2 Mistakes to Avoid for your 2013 goals

Over the last few years my wife, Alyssa, and I spent some time to write down year long goals for various different areas of our life. Some of you might do the same thing and you have no doubt experienced the power of focused intensity on one particular area of your life. It is amazing how just by taking the time to give thought enough to create a SMART goal that you are committed to, will make it much more likely that it will happen.

I wanted to share some things that we have made mistakes on involving our goals, that way it will hopefully save some of you from having to go through some of the same pain.

Mistake #1: The invisible goals!

I am ashamed to say that we have taken a bunch of time to establish goals, in detail, by writing them down ,  agreeing and committing to them, making sure each one is both challenging but not unreachable, and then putting them away never to be seen again. Unless of course you really just like not getting anywhere fast, you should instead both write them down and then display them someplace prominent like the refrigerator or kitchen where you will see them often.

Mistake #2: Well it sounded good…(Head nodding without commitment)

It is apparently very possible to spend a bunch of time creating a number of goals that one person in the relationship isn't very committed to. And guess what happens when you are not truly committed to a goal from the beginning? You guessed it! Success in this area does not last very long.

This means you will have to be committed enough to really talk through what both of you want as a couple. We also found that some goals, like health for instance, should really be set on an individual basis. My goal for this year is to get to 12% body fat and there is no way my wife can be the one to come up with that goal and have it be effective. It is important she be there when it is established so that she can commit to supporting me.

The only exception to this might be something like "Work out together as a couple 3 times each week" or "Run the Portland Marathon together in September" In the case of the latter you may or may not even train together.   This will likely be the case for Career and potentially Social as well. I would suggest making sure that goals in the areas of Financial, Spiritual, (need I say) Relationship and Family all are collaborative and not individual goals but more importantly make sure you are not head nodding to anything you are not truly committed to. Take the time to talk it out and respect each other enough to come to something you are both dedicated to. Otherwise it can take the great activity of setting goals and turn it around to become something that you resent later on during the year when it is clear that there is no real commitment.

 Don't mess this one up!

Mistake #3:  I can't see that we are winning

This sounds silly as I am writing this but somehow in the past we have been able to simultaneously have goals (during the same year) that we achieve because we see that we are having success with them and have others that are not working because we did not take the time to realize the importance of this. For example; one year we had focused on removing all forms of debt as a financial goal and took the time to chart it out over the course of the year and review our progress every single week while updating our accounts and budgets. At the same time we completely abandoned our relationship goals part way through the year because we had not done some of the up front or maintenance work that caused success with the other area.

What caused the difference in our behaviors and over the long run was very simply breaking the large goal down into smaller pieces and at the same time making sure it is measurable in a way that is prominent and visible to us. The financial goals we saw how much debt we were paying off and later our savings and investments growing while our relationship goals we made no attempt to break down into smaller chunks. This is not only particularly effective by making a large goal more realistic, but it gives you small wins that help you push through to the end. The way I am writing this blog right now is just by writing 2 paragraphs each day. This little at a time approach helps you build momentum toward accomplishment with each small win.

Mistake #4: What was that goal again?

Virtually nobody writes down their goals. Statistically most of the people reading this haven't written down their goals. Not you? Of course not! Me either (wink, wink).  Ok you got me, I have made the mistake of not writing them down and guess what usually they didn't happen. This is applicable anywhere! I used to set weekly goals for myself when I was in sales, my boss would always try to get me to commit to something higher and then I would record it and turn it in for the week. Guess what! I would generally hit whatever I wrote down (or in this case put in excel) As long as I was committed to it, when I put it in that self prophesizing spreadsheet, all of a sudden it was more likely to be achieved. The act of writing your goals down makes it real and causes you to commit to them on a different level, I know logically this should not work but humans are often not logical creatures (we only think that we are.) 

Mistake #4.5: Wait a minute, I have to start?

Start right now! Today, if you have not already taken this step, it is not too late. Make sure you are focusing on goals, not resolutions, that are specific and measurable while getting you where you want to go long term. You are not a static being. You are always growing in the right way or the wrong way. For example in your relationship with your spouse you will actively grow together or unintentionally grow apart. Remember avoid our mistakes so you don't have to learn the hard way. 

Go Happen to You!