Are You Willing to Move Carts?

The real reasons why some people progress and others don't

I have been looking for years to separate out the reasons why some people progress in their careers and others don't. Trying to understand what causes some people to be successful by most definitions and others to stay stagnant in their lives. On this quest of over ten years, I of course had my break through revelation in the most logical and classiest of places; the WalMart Parking lot.

As much as I live for wally world shopping trips, I declined to go in and volunteered to stay with two of our three children in the car. My wife, Alyssa,  took our youngest son, Grayson into the store on a life or death mission for M & Ms, which all parents know are a necessity for potting training at least one of your children (whether you want to admit it or not.) While she spent a solid five minutes in our shopping destination of choice (or lack there of), I got down to serious high quality observation and research on success that would make Malcolm Gladwell jealous.

Naturally the one parking spot that was open had carts near the front of it. Two carts in fact, pushed haphazardly up against the gold Mitsubishi in front of me as I pulled into the space. My first thought was to get out and put the carts back in the cart return that was only two stalls over but just then the people who belonged to the vehicle next to the carts came out of the store and delicately tried to get into their car without touching nor moving the carts. This was challenging because one of the two was right in front of the passenger car door. They successfully found their way into the vehicle and eventually pulled away. At this point, I thought, I am going to sit here and just watch what happens.

How to REALLY prep for an interview!

What do you do leading up to the interview? prep for a few questions, practice in the mirror, work on your smiling. All great but as they say this can potentially be "putting lipstick on a pig" if you don't have great experiences to draw from.

So what really preps you for an interview?

Good quality experiences are the basis for really good stories. Stories that of course have a great situation leading up to it, show what stellar behavior you chose to exhibit, and display how you achieved an award winning outcome. How you took on an extra project that changed not only the way your department does business but other departments throughout the company. How you had an idea for cost savings, that really didn't take any extra time but simply required you and your coworkers to start to work in a different way, and oh yes… this one saved your organization $27,000 in short order and lead to you getting a raise. People with experiences like these are the ones employers want to hire. These are even the type of people that are likely to get several job offers and have the ability to negotiate both salary and other terms of the position.

"But Scott" you say "I don't have any of these fancy schmancy experiences but I still want that Finance Manager job in that sweet office building down the road with a view." Maybe so but guess what? someone else who has great experiences actively improving her organization and getting results also wants that job. You will be competing against this person. Going up against someone who has great experiences in an interview is a little like the person who swims a couple of times a week in the pool at the YMCA, competing for a single spot in the olympics. Even if you get through the "elimination rounds" you will be able to tell very quickly by the rapidly expanding gap of water, who the star performers are.

Having great experiences can help you change career fields. One common language in many job interviews is leadership and influence around focused improvement. That is something all organizations are looking for and those are always transferrable skills and experiences. In fact what often stands out

Let's dig a little deeper to determine how we get there. How do you start noticing opportunities or problems for improvement in your organization?

Caring about what happens where you work is a start. Now before you launch into your martyr story about how much you care about this or that, I would challenge you to think about this: Does everyone else that you work with feel the same way about you; That you put yourself behind the needs of the organization and the people in it? That's where you start to notice opportunities to get an interview story. You get miffed a little bit when paper gets wasted or we are giving the customer a less than stellar experience. You start to cringe when you see that that since "we have always done it that way" it has lead to no shortage of missed opportunities and  extra expenses.

Another place you can start is by volunteering for projects, more responsibility, additional workload, to work with other departments, channels, or vendors. We have one person on our team right now that was promoted into position a year ago. Since then he has taken on the most challenging projects that nobody else wanted. He has since been very successful with each project. Through these he has achieved some amazing exposure working closely with other teams and at the same time stretched himself outside his comfort zone. Because of this he now has other experiences working with some of our senior leaders and at the same time has given himself a competitive advantage compared to other people in similar level positions. He will likely be very successful when a position comes open for promotion or if he wanted to go someplace else could probably get numerous job offers.

Think about it this way: If you were your own marketing or sales department for the company of You Inc, wouldn't you want to sell products or services that have significant differentiation from your competitors? That is exactly what you are doing here. Creating competitive advantage in the labor marketplace through the accumulation of the best stories is the best way to ensure that you can have the career you want. 

So remember before you get anywhere close to the actual interview the best way to prep is to say yes to experience.

The rest is as simple as just telling stories!

The Happiness Avoidance Problem

We all want happiness, right? So why is it that so many people are unable to get it?

It is remarkably sad that so many people end up devoting their life to things that don't make them happy. They don't intend to of course. It just ends up happening that way through decision after small decision.   I have worked with hundreds of people who have changed jobs because they felt like they weren't happy there. They have even gone so far as to identify what made them unhappy (the hours, the flexibility, the boss, the strange policy about beards and shaving). They then having felt good about saying "yes these things are what I don't want" make a jump to a new job and over the next 6 to 18 months, slowly feel the same way again. Only this time it might be new things, maybe this time you didn't anticipate there would be annoying coworkers or you got the inner cubicle where you had a sweet office all to yourself at your previous job. You think to yourself "unghh! If this  job just didn't have ____________________"

Many years later people have woken up and at that point devoted a lifetime to running away from something instead of defining what they want and going after it.

To understand how and why this happens, think about it this way. Each choice you make regarding your career can be for one of two purposes, It can be made with the intention of trying to do something that will remove something making you unhappy (like all of the reasons someone might leave a job after identifying what has made them unsatisfied). The other purpose for the choice can be to make a move to the things you have identified that will make you happy (this might be by clearly understanding what does make you happy and cause you joy)

When you read those last you sentences you might at first think "isn't that the same thing?" I thought this too for years. Here is why they are different:

• There are infinite possibilities to do things that avoid making you unhappy. If you successfully avoid a few of these that you have identified it does not necessarily mean you will be working in a role, company, environment, or situation that will make you happy.
• In contrast, there are a smaller and finite number of conditions that will make you really happy. Once you have Identified these the rest becomes less important.

I discovered this when my wife, Alyssa, and I had been having little catfights over the course of a few weeks. This was odd for us and I kept thinking "why is she doing this" it seems like I am doing everything possible to avoid her getting mad at me. I have done the dishes, I have vacuumed the house so she didn't have to, I got home early… And the list went on of things that potentially could make her unhappy.

After several very loud and somewhat less than polite discussions, we finally came to what she really wanted: conversation after spending all day with little kids at home. Adult conversation and feeling a connection with her husband was what really made her happy day after day. Both she and I hadn't realized this at the time and I obviously had been focused on eliminating the things that she didn't want.

After we discovered this, I began calling her and having conversations with her on the way home from work, then getting home and taking over dinner and attempting to continue the conversation with the kids hanging around my legs. All of a sudden, even though the dishes and all of those other things were still getting done, they just didn’t matter as much. She was getting what made her happy after having identified it.

Don't get caught up in this trap in your career. Focus in on the things that truly make you happy and NOT on avoiding the things that make you unhappy. You can do this by determining the things in the past that you have enjoyed at work or at home and not on the things you haven't. Make a list keep it and continue to add to it as you discover more about yourself. In short order you will have a better perspective on what really makes you happy. Which is all we really want anyways, right?

Just say "Hi": Simple tips to catapult a career

I work with a guy who says "hi". He is the type of guy who you aren't sure how he gets anything done because when you see him he is in your office, or someone else's office  or talking to one of his team. He is the type of guy that is rarely found in his own office but instead out where the action happens chatting with people. He always looks too happy to be busy and he is always spends way too much time talking to people to get stuff done. Right?

Let's call this guy Charlie. Charlie is actually one of the most productive people I have ever worked with. Not only is he getting results faster than most other people I have interacted with but he also is looked at as the model of discipline in this organization. On top of that it is clear that he will have more opportunities in his career with this same organization. Why is this? How does this seemingly oxymoronic set of events work together? Is he just friendly with the right people?

Well… the short answer is yes. But in a different way than you might think.

Here is what is really happening:

Every day he is stopping by multiple times per day to say hi, at the same time he's talking about what is going on in the business, what is going on that's really good, giving you his fellow co-worker recognition for doing something right or getting that result, telling you how it impacted his team, how it will impact the business, checking in on something that he has going on that involves you, a project, a task, a deliverable. Or he is spending time with his team (where they work) developing them, coaching them, keeping tabs on how they are doing with encouragement and support.

He doesn't spend a lot of time in conventional water cooler type conversations talking about the latest TV shows and politics. He doesn’t spend much time focusing on things that aren't going to generate results. Despite this he still has built some of the best relationships I have seen and has a high degree of respect from the team that he works with. The most common things said about him "I really like that guy!" and "he sure gets things done".

Here is why this works for him. He gets collaboration and accountability from the people he works with because people like him (and he provides the same for them). People like him because he cares enough about them to go out of his way spending maybe 60 seconds a day talking to them about what is important in their world and what he has in common with them. Often this might only be things he needs from them or simply touching base with how something is going but this shows constant follow up and care to his coworkers.

 I will not be surprised if Charlie continues to get amazing productivity and results from all the teams and people he works with and I would also not be surprised if this leads to another promotion for him in the next calendar year.

So although everyone has different personalities and priorities I would challenge you to take a small lesson from real life and, like Charlie, get out of the comfort of your work-space every day to be someone who says "Hi"

63,000 Opportunities Waiting for You. Self Start Here...

Have you ever read a posting for a job that says "looking for a self starter" or talked to a sales manager about who was successful on his team and he says "well that guy is a real self starter" (then his next sentence is "wish the rest of them could be more like that"). Everyone wants this "self starter", why is that? You will hear them called go-getters, spark plugs, ambitious, workhorses and many other things, but I think the 63,000+ job postings on indeed.com that are looking for a self starter have it right! They are looking for someone with initiative and someone who starts things themselves and without waiting on others.

Everyone wants this from the people they hire, but after years and years of hiring people and working with managers who hire people, I bet that very few of these job posters will find their self starters. I also bet that those who are self starters will find that they really have their pick of companies, locations, professions, promotions or even the possibility to start their own company, grow it and post their own ad looking for self starters! This is because this trait, which requires the willingness to not wait on others for permission and the strong possibility of making mistakes, taking risks and experiencing failures, is somewhat rare in the marketplace.

Seth Godin devotes a whole book to this concept of initiative and the self starter (Poke the Box), Dave Ramsey references this type person suggesting traits of ownership and initiative in "Entreleadership". The reason this concept sells is because it is uncomfortable to take initiative, it can be embarrassing to fail, and it can feel scary to do something others aren't doing. In a country that creates societal incentives for mediocrity and avoiding taking the reigns to start things yourself, this is a hot commodity. Sadly everyone wants to know how to do this but more importantly, as Seth Godin points out, they have to be sold on the idea because it is against the societal norm.

When I consider this, it is both frustrating to me and exciting at the same time. Exciting because, as a serial self starter myself, I find that there is so little competition in the job market that is so desperately pining after self starters. Frustrating because I see countless societal incentives that cause good people to make limiting choices that do not lead them down the road of self starting.

The most recent example of this is at the organization where I work; we have a lot of people there that have potential. Potential but feel they are stuck in their situation. One woman in particular, we will call her Tiffany, was working in a job that earned around $16 per hour and performing well. Performing well but not performing great. Not performing great because she viewed herself as limited in what she could do.

Tiffany was limited because she had a special needs child and if she earned any more in income she would not receive the medical insurance from the state that she so desperately felt she must have. If she didn't have it she would be a bad mom. Tiffany had shown snippets of potential and snippets of self starting but this wasn't unleashed until a manager saw some of this and spent hours with her selling her on the idea of what she could accomplish. After two month of convincing she took a promotion and is now a stellar performer because she gets to start things herself everyday. She ended up getting a large raise to go along with it that paid for the insurance and all is well!

The reality is though that most of us will not experience Tiffany's situation. We will not have a manager there to sell us on the idea of what life could be like if we removed our objections to becoming a self starter. Most of us have to do this on our own. I would like to offer the reason that like Tiffany, it could change your life. So, practice, now! by starting something, regardless of the outcome, failure or success. You will learn along the way. It's the learning that causes you to grow. 

Please comment on any self starting you have done, big or small. How do you will yourself to take initiative?

4 and 1/2 Mistakes to Avoid for your 2013 goals

Over the last few years my wife, Alyssa, and I spent some time to write down year long goals for various different areas of our life. Some of you might do the same thing and you have no doubt experienced the power of focused intensity on one particular area of your life. It is amazing how just by taking the time to give thought enough to create a SMART goal that you are committed to, will make it much more likely that it will happen.

I wanted to share some things that we have made mistakes on involving our goals, that way it will hopefully save some of you from having to go through some of the same pain.

Mistake #1: The invisible goals!

I am ashamed to say that we have taken a bunch of time to establish goals, in detail, by writing them down ,  agreeing and committing to them, making sure each one is both challenging but not unreachable, and then putting them away never to be seen again. Unless of course you really just like not getting anywhere fast, you should instead both write them down and then display them someplace prominent like the refrigerator or kitchen where you will see them often.

Mistake #2: Well it sounded good…(Head nodding without commitment)

It is apparently very possible to spend a bunch of time creating a number of goals that one person in the relationship isn't very committed to. And guess what happens when you are not truly committed to a goal from the beginning? You guessed it! Success in this area does not last very long.

This means you will have to be committed enough to really talk through what both of you want as a couple. We also found that some goals, like health for instance, should really be set on an individual basis. My goal for this year is to get to 12% body fat and there is no way my wife can be the one to come up with that goal and have it be effective. It is important she be there when it is established so that she can commit to supporting me.

The only exception to this might be something like "Work out together as a couple 3 times each week" or "Run the Portland Marathon together in September" In the case of the latter you may or may not even train together.   This will likely be the case for Career and potentially Social as well. I would suggest making sure that goals in the areas of Financial, Spiritual, (need I say) Relationship and Family all are collaborative and not individual goals but more importantly make sure you are not head nodding to anything you are not truly committed to. Take the time to talk it out and respect each other enough to come to something you are both dedicated to. Otherwise it can take the great activity of setting goals and turn it around to become something that you resent later on during the year when it is clear that there is no real commitment.

 Don't mess this one up!

Mistake #3:  I can't see that we are winning

This sounds silly as I am writing this but somehow in the past we have been able to simultaneously have goals (during the same year) that we achieve because we see that we are having success with them and have others that are not working because we did not take the time to realize the importance of this. For example; one year we had focused on removing all forms of debt as a financial goal and took the time to chart it out over the course of the year and review our progress every single week while updating our accounts and budgets. At the same time we completely abandoned our relationship goals part way through the year because we had not done some of the up front or maintenance work that caused success with the other area.

What caused the difference in our behaviors and over the long run was very simply breaking the large goal down into smaller pieces and at the same time making sure it is measurable in a way that is prominent and visible to us. The financial goals we saw how much debt we were paying off and later our savings and investments growing while our relationship goals we made no attempt to break down into smaller chunks. This is not only particularly effective by making a large goal more realistic, but it gives you small wins that help you push through to the end. The way I am writing this blog right now is just by writing 2 paragraphs each day. This little at a time approach helps you build momentum toward accomplishment with each small win.

Mistake #4: What was that goal again?

Virtually nobody writes down their goals. Statistically most of the people reading this haven't written down their goals. Not you? Of course not! Me either (wink, wink).  Ok you got me, I have made the mistake of not writing them down and guess what usually they didn't happen. This is applicable anywhere! I used to set weekly goals for myself when I was in sales, my boss would always try to get me to commit to something higher and then I would record it and turn it in for the week. Guess what! I would generally hit whatever I wrote down (or in this case put in excel) As long as I was committed to it, when I put it in that self prophesizing spreadsheet, all of a sudden it was more likely to be achieved. The act of writing your goals down makes it real and causes you to commit to them on a different level, I know logically this should not work but humans are often not logical creatures (we only think that we are.) 

Mistake #4.5: Wait a minute, I have to start?

Start right now! Today, if you have not already taken this step, it is not too late. Make sure you are focusing on goals, not resolutions, that are specific and measurable while getting you where you want to go long term. You are not a static being. You are always growing in the right way or the wrong way. For example in your relationship with your spouse you will actively grow together or unintentionally grow apart. Remember avoid our mistakes so you don't have to learn the hard way. 

Go Happen to You!

Your Piggily Marmoset Moment in 2013

Most weekends my wife and I try to do some type of activity with our kids. This particular weekend we did not have anything planned so on a whim (and with no better more creative ideas), I took our son, Camden, and daughter, Mackenzie, outside to go "exploring" in our back yard. This consisted of a glorified game of follow the leader where we took turns looking at natures' debris which was our curiosity shop of treasures for the moment. We found several different types of bugs, leaves, moss that was odd colored and growing on one of our trees, but the highlight of the day came when I took them to a pine tree near our fence that I had recently trimmed quite a few dead branches.

Where many of the branches used to be, instead there were sawed off nubs with gold colored tree sap dripping out of it. I showed my two oldest children and you would have thought they were watching the first landing on the moon or at least experiencing their first ride on an elevator or some other significant milestone. Whatever it was their excitement level certainly outmatched the sticky substance that was pouring out of tree. After the ooh's and aahhs, mackenzie took another look and then said "dad that's what a piggily marmoset eats."

I was stunned for two reasons; the first of which was I had no idea what a piggily marmoset was and my 5 year old daughter clearly did. I knew this because she adamantly explained that they live in the rainforest and eat sap from the trees. It didn't stop here because she proceeded to provide a national geographic worthy narrative of the piggily marmoset. The second reason I was so surprised was that she connected all of this information and facts about the marmoset to tree sap. She knew theoretically that they ate this, but really had no idea what tree sap actually was. This connection in her mind all of a sudden made it real for her.  This marmoset (actually called a pygmy marmoset and is a very small monkey) now was something she could identify with and tell stories about all because she was able to experience something different and out of routine that caused her to grow and learn. More importantly than that though it caused her to connect ideas and knowledge in a new and different way.

If you are willing to try something different (or even just slightly different) you can experience a whole new frontier of connecting things you already know in a new and different way. Furthermore if you intentionally do this and even look for opportunities to take advantage of "learning opportunities" that you wouldn't normally take, it will open up doors for you. Best of all this often puts you in a position to be able to help others in ways that you wouldn't have been able to before.

As we have turned the corner into January and the possibilities for you, your career and your growth are endless, I hope you have many exciting "Piggily Marmoset Moments" in 2013!

Prepping for a job interview...I have to do WHAT?

Prepping for a job interview is a little like losing weight: most everybody knows that you should do it and most people choose not to. At least not in a way that will prepare you for just about anything you could encounter in an interview. Here are a few steps that anyone can do to prep for job interviews. 

If you do these things (all the way, not half way) AND you have the ability to build relationships you will easily be in the top 10% of interviewees out there. This of course is also assuming you are qualified for the position.

1. Write down the 15-20 most challenging experiences you have worked through or overcome in your life. These should be mostly professional with a few personal sprinkled in if you like. After about 7 or 8 for most people this will start to be difficult, but push through to at least 15. Make sure you have a mix of people focused examples (communication, conflict resolution, leadership, etc.) and process or non people focused (improvements in process or procedure, challenges overcome in a system, etc)
2. Write down the Situation, Behavior and Outcome of each situation to form the story that will make sense to the interviewer. This means: describe what the past situation was, share what you did or how you handled it, and what was the result of that situation.
3. Practice describing each mini story in 3-5 minutes (max) at first with yourself and then later with someone  else.

4. Get feedback from someone else about how concise your stories are, are they understandable, do they make the point, is the situation, behavior or outcome easily distinguishable? How could it be improved?

If you do all of this, you will be well prepared for a behavioral based interview (tell me about a time when…) and if you are in an interview with general questions (what do you do when… or how do you handle….) you will be in a great position to make a fantastic impression on the interviewer. Simply say "do you mind if I share a specific situation where I was able to do that?" and then tell your story that matches that question.

If you have written and practiced 15 to 20 situations you will easily be able to recall one that matches up to the question. Even if you don't have one that matches up perfectly, going through the exercises above will prepare you to think in a manner that comes across well in an interview.

More importantly than any of the advice listed above, preparing in this manner will allow you to feel more comfortable during an interview, which allows you to be more likely to be yourself. This is always the best way to go!

For more information about how to get the interview in the first place see The Greatest Resume Ever...and Why NOT to Write it!

Feel free to comment on what has helped you prep for interviews!

When Job Searching, Persistence beats out anything else, Except humility.

Over the last few months I have been involved in the hiring for quite a few positions and it got me thinking; What are the most valued qualities that will get you hired or cause you to progress in your career? I realized that persistence is one of those that has come up again and again over the last 10 years of being involved in job openings from all angles.  I am not saying this is right or wrong, this is only  my observation over the years working with many different hiring managers, HR professionals, candidates, and my own job searches.

Persistence can be displayed in your behaviors with past jobs, projects and personal endeavors. It can also be found when trying to schedule an in person meeting, continuing to call back to find out an answer after the interview, continuing to maintain contact even when there is not a job opening at the company you want to work for. These same things also indicate a healthy level of want for both the job and the organization. If a hiring manager isn't convinced you truly want the job, you will not be receiving an offer. Showing persistence is a great way to accomplish this.

When it comes to interviewing to uncover past behavioral patterns, tenacity can even be viewed as form of persistence. If a candidate has a track record of overcoming challenging situations where others might choose not to, this is an indicator they will likely behave the same way in the future.

All of this is for naught though if a candidate does not have humility. For example, I had a position come down to candidates last week and one had a track record of persistence and slightly more "conventional experience than the other. The second candidate had an equal amount of persistence but had a lifetime of humility built into his experiences.

We hired the second candidate quickly after completing the full interview process. This is a personal example but I have seen it time and again over the last 10 years. Most hiring managers don't spend a lot of time interviewing, they spend time leading people in their respective industries. This means that they will often hire people that they subjectively feel comfortable with. Persistence without humility is a little like a nice car sitting on the side of the road after running out of gas; it might look good but eventually people realize it is not going anywhere. Persistence will come off as arrogance, annoying or even worse without humility.

These are a few (not all) of the qualities that give others a positive impression of job candidates.  I would encourage you to evaluate yourself in these two categories (persistence and tenacity.)

What other subjective qualities do you think make or break hiring decisions? (Good or Bad)

Why Your Self Development is like My 3 Year Old

Photo: Scott Barlow

The other day my 3 year old boy, Camden, spent about 20 minutes putting together a floor sized puzzle of a bright green  snarling, tyrannosaurus rex. This in itself was amazing because he is similar to many other 3 year old boys and has the attention span of T minus 3,..2,..1,.. blastoff to the next experience. He is normally flitting from activity to activity attempting to leave a small trail of destruction and newly uninteresting toys in his wake. Today was unique for a different reason though; After he finished putting it together he showed off his puzzle  and then…. HE CLEANED IT UP (Loud dramatic movie sound effects follow).

Ok now this probably doesn't seem that amazing to most people reading this, but let me give you some backstory: We had been working with him since before he could put anything away on his own, trying to make sure that he picks up the  things he gets out or plays with. This is the very first time he did it by himself with no prompting from us. He just finished playing and cleaned it up and put the puzzle box back on the shelf by himself. You may still be asking what the big deal is. This probably means you have perfect kids that have been cleaning their rooms, knitting small hats with unnecessary gloves for your pets, and learning how to conjugate verbs in another language since they were 18 months old, but for myself and my wife, this was a big win.

As the novelty wore off I realized just how much there was buried in this very small life event. All of the preparation and discipline to build this routine and habit are the same as what goes into building great habits and routines in both your career and your personal growth. Whether it be networking, developing great meeting habits, personal organization, or any number of other behaviors that can help your career or self development, here are some ways to make them into routine.

Use an accountability partner

If you have ever spent any amount of time working out at a gym you have probably heard about the personal trainer that is available there. You have probably also heard a number of people who will tell you that working out with a personal trainer is more effective than working out alone. Is it their mass amount of knowledge and doctorate in "personal trainer science" that makes all the difference? Probably not. It is many times the accountability and different behaviors that you will exhibit if someone else is involved. (although for the benefit of any personal trainers that may have just stopped reading this blog one sentence ago, I will admit that having someone who knows what they are doing does help too!)

Maybe you are a new manager working on building relationships with a new team, or maybe you are someone who is trying to expose yourself to new companies by participating in networking events, either way, get someone else who you trust involved in the process. Ask them to hold you accountable on a regular basis (usually weekly is a great way to go for most habits) this can be as simple as having a recurring 10 minute phone meeting with that person to check in and update them on your progress for the week. This has to be someone that is willing to kick your behind (out of concern for you) if you don’t live up to your end of the bargain.

In Camden's case, he had a built in accountability partner whether he liked it or not, to make sure he was exhibiting the right behaviors. The concept and the end result are the same though. He eventually started to clean up after himself after continuously working to integrate it into regular behavior. As with many other things, it is often the simple principles that are most effective.

Make it a part of your day: Put it on the calendar

This one sounds obvious right? Many people still don't do it. With Camden, we would have weekly and nightly chores to make sure we did not miss opportunities to build his routine of cleaning up. We wrote up what was happening when and put it on the fridge and put pictures for each chore so it made sense to him. That way it was a part of his and our lives and we couldn't ignore it.

 If you want to integrate something into your routine put it on the calendar. I did this with pieces of David Allen's "Getting Things Done" system to integrate good habits into my world and create headspace for innovation and creativity. Another time this came in handy was transitioning careers and companies. Thinking about what you will do ahead of time allows for maximum focus when the time comes to actually do it. I use outlook for my work calendars and gmail for my personal calendars. On both of these I will often put an agenda or notes or a cheat sheet in the body area, that way when the time comes to do whatever it is, I do not have to spend any time rethinking about the activity. Instead I can review the calendar item and move right to action.

Surround yourself with encouragement

When we first started having Camden clean up his toys or anything else for that matter, here is how it went: He would put one tiny toy away and we would be jumping up and down clapping and shouting "Great job!" and "You are a rock star room cleaner" and then... we would end up putting every other toy in the room away. That is how it begins, then slowly over time he started really contributing to the success of his room cleaning endeavors, right up until the apex where apparently he just thought it was a part of the process.

You can do this too without having to get your parents on speaker phone for commentary on your rockstar status as an inbox "cleaner outer". Instead choose to share your wins with others who will provide encouragement when you are doing the right things. I used to go for a run during lunch with another guy who was a fairly positive person and he would often provide encouraging words when things that I was working on were going right. This was extremely helpful to reinforce any behaviors I was working on at the time.

You can also do this by providing encouragement for others, you will find that when you establish this as part of the relationship it will often come back to you. Camden, for the longest time would burst into applause when I would put my socks and shirts away in my closet. See!... Encouragement often reciprocates.

The real moral of this story is that no matter where you look you can find ways that fit into your own life to continue to develop yourself. This is an important part of your continuing career no matter what your role and more importantly, with a little help in the right places it can be so simple that a 3 year old can do it