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| Photo: Scott Barlow |
The other day my 3
year old boy, Camden, spent about 20 minutes putting together a floor sized
puzzle of a bright green snarling,
tyrannosaurus rex. This in itself was amazing because he is similar to many
other 3 year old boys and has the attention span of T minus 3,..2,..1,..
blastoff to the next experience. He is normally flitting from activity to
activity attempting to leave a small trail of destruction and newly
uninteresting toys in his wake. Today was unique for a different reason though;
After he finished putting it together he showed off his puzzle and then…. HE CLEANED IT UP (Loud dramatic
movie sound effects follow).
Ok now this probably
doesn't seem that amazing to most people reading this, but let me give you some
backstory: We had been working with him since before he could put anything away
on his own, trying to make sure that he picks up the things he gets out or plays with. This is the
very first time he did it by himself with no prompting from us. He just
finished playing and cleaned it up and put the puzzle box back on the shelf by
himself. You may still be asking what the big deal is. This probably means you
have perfect kids that have been cleaning their rooms, knitting small hats with
unnecessary gloves for your pets, and learning how to conjugate verbs in
another language since they were 18 months old, but for myself and my wife,
this was a big win.
As the novelty wore
off I realized just how much there was buried in this very small life event.
All of the preparation and discipline to build this routine and habit are the
same as what goes into building great habits and routines in both your career and
your personal growth. Whether it be networking, developing great meeting
habits, personal organization, or any number of other behaviors that can help
your career or self development, here are some ways to make them into routine.
Use an accountability partner
If you have ever
spent any amount of time working out at a gym you have probably heard about the
personal trainer that is available there. You have probably also heard a number
of people who will tell you that working out with a personal trainer is more effective
than working out alone. Is it their mass amount of knowledge and doctorate in
"personal trainer science" that makes all the difference? Probably
not. It is many times the accountability and different behaviors that you will
exhibit if someone else is involved. (although for the benefit of any personal
trainers that may have just stopped reading this blog one sentence ago, I will
admit that having someone who knows what they are doing does help too!)
Maybe you are a new
manager working on building relationships with a new team, or maybe you are
someone who is trying to expose yourself to new companies by participating in
networking events, either way, get someone else who you trust involved in the
process. Ask them to hold you accountable on a regular basis (usually weekly is
a great way to go for most habits) this can be as simple as having a recurring
10 minute phone meeting with that person to check in and update them on your
progress for the week. This has to be someone that is willing to kick your
behind (out of concern for you) if you don’t live up to your end of the
bargain.
In Camden's case, he
had a built in accountability partner whether he liked it or not, to make sure
he was exhibiting the right behaviors. The concept and the end result are the
same though. He eventually started to clean up after himself after continuously
working to integrate it into regular behavior. As with many other things, it is
often the simple principles that are most effective.
Make it a part of your day: Put it on the calendar
This one sounds
obvious right? Many people still don't do it. With Camden, we would have weekly
and nightly chores to make sure we did not miss opportunities to build his
routine of cleaning up. We wrote up what was happening when and put it on the
fridge and put pictures for each chore so it made sense to him. That way it was
a part of his and our lives and we couldn't ignore it.
If you want to integrate something into your
routine put it on the calendar. I did this with pieces of David Allen's
"Getting Things Done" system to integrate good habits into my world
and create headspace for innovation and creativity. Another time this came in
handy was transitioning careers and companies. Thinking about what you will do
ahead of time allows for maximum focus when the time comes to actually do it. I
use outlook for my work calendars and gmail for my personal calendars. On both
of these I will often put an agenda or notes or a cheat sheet in the body area,
that way when the time comes to do whatever it is, I do not have to spend any
time rethinking about the activity. Instead I can review the calendar item and
move right to action.
Surround yourself with encouragement
When we first
started having Camden clean up his toys or anything else for that matter, here
is how it went: He would put one tiny toy away and we would be jumping up and
down clapping and shouting "Great job!" and "You are a rock star
room cleaner" and then... we would end up putting every other toy in the
room away. That is how it begins, then slowly over time he started really
contributing to the success of his room cleaning endeavors, right up until the
apex where apparently he just thought it was a part of the process.
You can do this too
without having to get your parents on speaker phone for commentary on your
rockstar status as an inbox "cleaner outer". Instead choose to share
your wins with others who will provide encouragement when you are doing the
right things. I used to go for a run during lunch with another guy who was a
fairly positive person and he would often provide encouraging words when things
that I was working on were going right. This was extremely helpful to reinforce
any behaviors I was working on at the time.
You can also do this
by providing encouragement for others, you will find that when you establish
this as part of the relationship it will often come back to you. Camden, for
the longest time would burst into applause when I would put my socks and shirts
away in my closet. See!... Encouragement often reciprocates.
The real moral of
this story is that no matter where you look you can find ways that fit into
your own life to continue to develop yourself. This is an important part of
your continuing career no matter what your role and more importantly, with a
little help in the right places it can be so simple that a 3 year old can do it
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